The Master of Cleanliness lived underground
Where never a morsel of dirt could be found,
But once every year he came out to see
How clean earth’s inhabitants managed to be.
As each passed by he grew greatly annoyed
When he found all the rubbish which filled every void.
He warned, “If this litter does not disappear
I’ll have to take most severe action next year.”
But nobody heeded and cleaned up the land,
Until at last things became quite out of hand.
And on his next visit the Master erupted
To see the fair earth that these folk had corrupted.
He stormed up and down, and cried, “This is enough!
I’ll think of some way to get rid of this stuff,
And all of you people will soon be so bitter
That you didn’t trouble to move your own litter.”
With that he went back to his home underground
And called all his helpers to gather around.
He said’ “This is my plan, you will each get a stick,
And from the whole face of the earth you will pick
Every fragment of rubbish from tiny to tall
And bring it back here to our huge Central Hall.”
Immediately all of his helpers set forth
And gathered up rubbish for all they were worth.
The huge pile of debris kept growing and growing.
By evening the Great Hall was quite overflowing
“Now stop,” said the Master, “and bring me a light,
We’ll teach lazy humans a lesson tonight.”
The lighter was brought and the litter was lit;
The red flames grew bigger by bit and by bit,
And at last the Great Hall was a Great Hall no more
But a huge fiery furnace from ceiling to floor.
Up on earth all the people said, “That was well done.
Now the rubbish has gone we’ll just have some more fun.”
So they frolicked around with never a thought
For the lesson the Master had said would be taught.
Very soon all the plants with one voice gave complaint;
“My roots are so hot, I think I will faint!”
And then all the fish cried, “It’s boiling in here!”
And they swam to the surface in terrible fear.
Next the animals cried, “Stop this searing heat.”
And they all jumped around – it was burning their feet.
And at last all the people grew hotter and hotter,
They shouted, “Oh Master, don’t be such a rotter!
Please put out the fire before we all burn!”
“Not yet,” Master said, “You’ve a lesson to learn.
You must first of all faithfully promise to me
That the earth you’ve been given will be kept rubbish free!”
“We promise! We promise!” they cried with one voice.
Indeed, to survive they had no other choice.
So the fire was put out and the people were good,
And they cleared all the litter as good people should.
But as the years passed, folk forgot the great fright
They got from the Master that terrible night.
When he visits us now we completely ignore
The warnings he gives, saying, “Oh! What a bore!”
So I muse as the Master’s next visit commences
What lesson he’ll find to bring us to our senses!
by Dianne Myers
